I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
