she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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