I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
