Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
