i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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