Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
