My boss' voice literally gives me gas
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
