I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize