At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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