im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize