Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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