Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize