Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
