i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
