WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
