I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
