So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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