I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
