remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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