Im at strip club and am horny
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize