I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
