you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
