something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
