I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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