Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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