I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ketchup is God's man juice
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
