But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When are your genitals available?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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