i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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