Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
