I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
