In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
