I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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