Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
