He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
