At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
