What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize