Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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