I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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