WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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