I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
