Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
