Don't make out with my wife yet
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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