If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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