addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
