My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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