how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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