i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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