Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
