Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
