YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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