watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
