google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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