I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
