You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
