every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
