You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
