i permit you to call me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
