Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
