my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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