my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ugly people sure do ruin things
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
