no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sarcasm needs its own font
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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