i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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