What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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