Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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