Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
